Archive for January, 2010

6-Minute Management Course…

January 28, 2010

Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’

‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies…

‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

Moral of the story :
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.

‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’

Puff! He’s gone.

‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’

Moral of the Story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him..

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE SIX MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.

Why do people shout in anger?

January 28, 2010

Why do we shout in anger? A saint asked his disciples, ‘Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?’ Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.’ ‘Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Disciples gave some other…

Finally he explained, ‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.’ Then the saint asked, ‘What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t …

When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

Why people quit IT industry?

January 27, 2010

With the end of the economic downturn and signs of positive demand for outsourcing and offshoring from the U.S. and European markets, which account for about 80% of Indian software exports, the IT industry is gearing up for a gradual recovery in the new year. But Indian IT industry still continues to face the problem of attrition, especially when companies are now offering strong pay packages to make up for the lost ground. Employees are jumping jobs.

While most people including the managers are of the opinion that majority of people leave because they are unhappy with their compensation, there has been enough research done globally and across industry segments to prove that unhappiness with compensation is only one of the many reasons that people think about quitting.

Yes.  Stupidity is “Doing the same thing again, again without adding value”, while many can say that also make the doer as “master” in the art, which I politely disagree.

Forget fun, the individual should be satisfied or happy with the job – I doubt after the recission, but for the people for whom IT is ‘Passion”, the rest of the group would have made up their mind that jobs with “Permanant” nature will be more comfortable /suit them even at a much lesser pay.

I also tend to believe that a carrer in “reduced risk” industry than in a IT industry.

Challenges can be manifold – within the organisation – with juniors for getting the task done – with peers to coordinate projects and with seniors and top managers to be in their “good books” and I doubt whether there will be dreath for this in their job now.  But challenge to cope up the rise and falls in the industry as a whole, where the individuals skill set do not have a big say, then this challenges would be preferred to be avoided by an individual.

Will Indian IT sector return to ‘business as usual’ situation in 2010?

January 27, 2010

We all know what was the condition of Indian IT sector last year at this time. It was the most affected area in the recession. It was the sector which was affected the most facing a huge loss causing the job loss of thousands of employees.

Thankfully, in the first year after the global economic crisis, the information technology (IT) sector has delivered some exponential growth numbers. Most tech majors made handsome gains as overseas orders increased in number along with IT spends showing improvement. The IT sector is slowly coming out of the nightmare it faced last year. But, with the emerging of outsourcing companies in other South East Asia, India is facing a stiff competition.  So I want to ask you all whether the Indian IT sector again will return to ‘business as usual’ situation in 2010?

Vivek says “There is more scope for winning outsourcing deals. If you look at last two quarter client acquisition position with all IT companies in India they have won good deals. Still they expect to win a lot. US great depression will take atleast two more years to come back to development path. They need more fiscal support and need to cut cost too which is the only advantage for us. Their system will need more transparency which will business in Banking in terms of technology needs. If we look at the global economy now other than UK, US almost all countries are in recovery stage. There might be few changes in the global scenario because of China, Middle east and few other countries but still our economy is said to be better than all of these”

one of my said “I agree that Indian IT sector will return to its old speed but I don’t think that will happen in 2010. I think this process will still take some 1-2 more years. The amount of loss IT sector has faced is huge and its not going to get fulfilled by merely 4%-7% growth. But its good that at least IT sector has recovered very fast and Iam sure it will get its old speed very soon. But it won’t happen in 2010”.

Lets see how the IT sector will shape….

Do you know who your customers are?

January 26, 2010

It’s funny to see that for some companies it’s not really clear who their customers are: are readers the customers of newspapers, and are newspapers providing them a services by selling them news? Or are advertisers the customers and are newspapers in the business of selling attention to the advertisers?

Both can work, but it seems to me that currently too much discussion on the internet is about convincing companies that one approach is working and the other not. Companies should treat readers as customers, or they should views them as a product to sell. People are trying to convince others that they should target different customers.

I think it’s more important to understand your model: if you know who your customer is, you can actually understand the value of what you’re trying to sell. Are you selling valuable news or are you selling commodity news? Or are you selling specific readers, or are you selling a large group of unfocused readers? Are there many other providers of the same service or is your service very special?

The basic economic demand and supply rules still apply. The value of scarce news is very high, the value of commodity news is very low. The value of targetted, focussed readers is very high, the value of unfocused readers is a bit lower.

What Happens to your Inbox after you Die ???

January 25, 2010

What Happens to your Inbox after you Die ???


Saving that parting email from your first love in your inbox? Well, chances are, after you pass away, your spouse and the entire family will know about the long-held secret.


This is because web
email services like Hotmail and Gmail do not let users specify what should happen to their messages when they die.
In fact, email services owned by
internet giants like Google and Microsofthave a policy of keeping your data after you die and letting your next of kin or the executor of your estate access it. These services can hold tens of thousands of messages.

Accounts with Gmail can hold up to 7GB — or roughly 70,000 emails with a small to medium picture attached to each and they archive the messages you’ve written as well as received.

When it comes to deleting the data, Microsoft’s Hotmail will remove an account if it is inactive for 270 days, while Gmail leaves the responsibility to the next of kin. Of the top three providers, only Yahoo refuses to supply emails to anyone after the user has died.

The user’s next of kin can ask for the account to be closed, but cannot gain access to it. A Yahoo spokesperson said the only exception to this rule would be if the user specified otherwise in their will.

Meanwhile, social-networking site Facebook has recently publicised a feature called memorialisation that lets the family of deceased users keep their profile page online as a virtual tribute.

MySpace, on the other hand, says it addresses the issue of family access to sensitive data on a “case by case basis”